I declare myself…

Let’s pretend…that I declare myself an artist. 

I’d do it apologetically. I swear It’d make me uncomfortable. I’d find myself apologizing to those true artists out there– the ones who dedicated years to honing their craft, committed to finding their voice and perfecting it, those who took the leap to make a living out of it, or at least attempted to.

I know I am not that. To be honest, I don't even know what my art would be.

But I want the special pass! The one we give to artists and adolescents (Or maybe they grab it?)  and since I can't declare myself an adolescent, what if I self-declare myself an artist?

Then, for however long I choose, I can be whatever I want.  I can disappear, and make grant comebacks. There would be more slack to play with my self expression, what I do, wear, share and embody. You can be emotional, even at work. I could keep experimenting with my identity,  even if I’m in my 40s, and the more surprising the shifts are …the most people will think “Oh, she is in a process! She is shaping something” rather than offering a raised brow and asking “What the heck is she doing/wearing/saying/trying?”. You could choose have one or two jobs and detach them from your core identity. A waitress is a waitress. But an actress who is a waitress. It’s really an actress that works as a waitress. You understand what I mean?. Once an artist, forever an artist. If I become an entrepreneur later ( and chances are I would) I’d still keep the artist badge and I could go back to full artist mode, without worrying too much of that gap.

So, what if we self-declare ourselves half-artists, if only for a day, maybe an hour, a minute. Just for this second. 

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